Skip to main content

News / Articles

After Handgun Ban, Canadian Bandits Begin Politely Robbing Tim Horton’s With Finger Guns

Babylon Bee - Satire | Published on 8/30/2022
TORONTO - An embarrassing crime wave has taken Toronto by storm as criminals, emboldened by Canada's ban on handguns, have begun holding up businesses armed with nothing but finger guns. Tim Hortons, a popular Canadian cafe, is reportedly among the hardest hit.

Authorities confirm that the cashiers of Tim Hortons are routinely held at finger-point and forced to empty hundreds of dollars into cartoonish money bags. By the time police arrive on the scene the robbers are long gone.