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Stormtroopers Now Deadly Accurate After Adding Pistol Braces To All Their Blasters

Babylon Bee - Satire | Published on 7/26/2023
CORUSCANT — Emperor Palpatine was said to be very pleased with the latest ballistics report on stormtrooper marksmanship, as the Imperial Army's collective accuracy percentage improved dramatically after adding pistol braces to all blasters.

"Good. Gooooooooood," the Emperor was heard saying when he was given the news. "The pitiful rebellion stands no chance now that we have implemented the use of pistol braces. Death Stars will no longer be necessary — each and every stormtrooper is now an ultimate weapon of deadly force. My control over the galaxy is now complete!"