WASHINGTON D.C.—In what Democrats are calling a "brilliant compromise for gun safety," President Biden has signed an executive order allowing everyone to keep as many guns as they want-- as long as the barrels are tied in a knot.
"Come on, man! I'm not against the 2nd Amendment!" said Biden to the bust of Cesar Chavez in his office. "You have my word-- no one is coming to take your guns away. You want guns, you can keep 'em! All we ask is that you tie a giant knot in the barrel just like Daffy Duck did to Elmer Fudd. It's real simple!"
Biden's order will require all gun owners to provide photographic evidence of them twisting their guns into a square knot or a lovely bow. If the guns ever need to be used, Americans can simply take their firearm to a gunsmith to be straightened out again.
Anyone suspected of being a member of QAnon will be required to tie their gun in a triple-knot.